


The Hardest Part of Love

by canyousonicmedoctor



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:09:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3443321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canyousonicmedoctor/pseuds/canyousonicmedoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every memory, every detail comes to the forefront of her mind and with every remembered word and touch and moment, her heart hurts less and less. Allowing herself to acknowledge the love she felt for Steve and the pain that she’s been holding onto means she can say goodbye without losing him. She will always love him, but now the time for mourning is done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hardest Part of Love

**Author's Note:**

> A short look into how I imagined what happened post-finale.

Peggy comes home with wind ruffled hair and tear stains on her cheeks. The empty vial of Steve’s blood sits heavy in her purse, weighing her down as she makes her way back to the apartment and Angie.

She’d done what Steve would have wanted, she knows that. But letting him go was harder than Peggy could have possibly imagined, despite the fact that he’s been gone for over a year. She hadn’t realized just how close she was holding his memory until she finally got the chance to say a proper goodbye.

“You gotta live your life, Peg,” he would tell her if he could see her now, holding back tears in the back of a taxi cab. “You have to let me go.” It’s so much easier said than done though.

The house is silent when Peggy returns. As much as she loves Angie, she is grateful for the quiet to sort out her thoughts. She vaguely remembers Angie telling her something a few days back about an upcoming audition, so she assumes that’s where she is.

Off the kitchen there is a bar fully stocked with Howard’s favorite drinks. The desire to drown herself in expensive bourbon is damn near overwhelming. Peggy resists, wanting to be present to feel her grief in ways she couldn’t a year ago; when she had been expected to pick herself up and soldier on and help end a war. 

Peggy wanders blindly around the apartment that is far too big in her loneliness. It’s far too big all the time, but alone it’s like she’s lost in a world no one can reach even if she wanted too. Her purse is gone, discarded somewhere she can’t remember in the moment when she lowers herself onto a couch and allows herself to let go.

Fat tears slip noiselessly down her cheeks as she remembers everything she’s tried so hard to bury from prying eyes for the last year. Every memory, every detail comes to the forefront of her mind and with every remembered word and touch and moment, her heart hurts less and less. Allowing herself to acknowledge the love she felt for Steve and the pain that she’s been holding onto means she can say goodbye without losing him. She will always love him, but now the time for mourning is done. 

Peggy isn’t sure how long she sits there on the couch, tears drying slowly on her face. God only knows what her makeup must look like at this point. Strength returns to her limbs and she gets up to find where her purse ended up. The vial should be returned to Jarvis and Howard. Holding onto it now seems pointless; just another excuse to cling to the past. 

It’s sitting on the table just inside the front door. As she goes to pick it up, the front door swings open to reveal Angie, eyes bright and cheeks red from the wind outside.

“Peg, you’ll never guess what…” her voice trails off when she sees the state Peggy is in. Peggy doesn’t even try to hide it, not anymore. “Hey are you alright?”

Tears come to Peggy’s eyes as she stands there staring at Angie and Angie staring back with confusion and fear and concern. Nobody has looked at her with such blatant concern for her wellbeing since she ran into Steve while they were storming the Hydra base. Angie takes a step further inside like she is going to try to comfort Peggy and that’s it. Some barrier inside her crumbles down and without so much as hesitating she grabs onto the front of Angie’s jacket and pulls her in for a kiss.

There’s no room for tenderness in the way Peggy kisses. It’s sharp and hard and filled with the pain of this final act of letting go. She would be worried about Angie’s reaction if not for the fact that the moment their lips came together, Angie’s arms wound around her neck and pulled her in closer. 

If anything, Angie gives as good as she gets. When Peggy bites at her lower lip, Angie returns the favor, biting and soothing with her tongue. It’s rough and passionate and exactly what Peggy needs in that moment. She needs to feel the reality of Angie’s hips underneath her hands and know that this is what Angie wants too. 

Peggy doesn’t realize she’s crying again until Angie pulls back to look at her face. A gasp wrenches out of her throat and any attempt she might have had at brushing this off is lost in Angie’s arms wrapping around her, pulling her in for a hug. Peggy cries into Angie’s shoulder, no doubt ruining her jacket but Angie doesn’t seem to care. 

When Peggy had first realized she was in love with Angie, it felt like a betrayal. Guilt overwhelmed any idea of pursuing that feeling because it felt like she was disrespecting Steve by falling in love with someone else. There in Angie’s arms, it doesn’t feel so bad anymore.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Angie asks once Peggy’s cries die down and her body stops being shaken by sobs. A short laugh bursts from her lips as she emerges from Angie’s shoulder. Wiping the tears from her face- she must look such a fright- she offers Angie a watery smile and thinks of the picture of Steve she keeps hidden in her vanity. Now seems like a very good time to stop hiding anymore. 

“May I introduce you to someone?”


End file.
